Most people have a strange relationship with the word charisma. They admire it in others. They often secretly want it themselves, but they’re also a little suspicious of it. It can feel like something reserved for performers, politicians, or “naturally magnetic” people. Something you either have or you don’t. And if you try too hard to have it, it feels fake. So let me clear that up, based on my extensive observations and personal experience. Charisma is not a personality trait. It’s not something people are born with. It is either socialized in one direction or the other by how we were raised and how we reacted to messages that were given to us, positive or negative. Most people have it suppressed, while a smaller group has been rewarded for their behavior, like being outgoing or not worrying about rejection or embarrassment, and it has developed into charisma. It’s also not about needing attention. Charisma is much simpler than that. What I’ve come to realize is that charisma is the positive emotional impact you have on other people. That’s it. It’s how people feel after interacting with you. They feel more confident. More interesting. More energized. More understood. In short, it is created by your actions. And those actions show that you are comfortable wherever you are, and act like you belong no matter where you are. People are drawn to that, almost unconsciously. The subtitle of my book, Superbold, is From Underconfident to Charismatic in 90 Days. But I’m not teaching you how to become charismatic. I’m teaching you to develop and expand your boldness. Because boldness is about taking action, and the result is your comfort zone expands, and your confidence increases in more and more situations. The byproduct of that personal development is you behave like you belong wherever you are, and you are never the one stopping yourself. You project that increased comfort in every situation. The eventual result is that people experience you as charismatic. I know this, because at some point in my life, people started referring to me as charismatic. It was not something I was aiming for. I wasn’t trying to impress people. I was just determined to live a bold life, and not stack regrets and miss opportunities because I hesitated and stopped myself. My goal is to bring my full, open, vulnerable self to every situation. My bold behavior has a significant level of humility as part of it, because I know how much more I can become, I understand how much more I can grow, and I can endure the discomfort of my past failures as well as my future ones. I see the difference it’s made in my life, both in my business success and my personal relationships. That’s why I’m so passionate about teaching it. My goal is not to get attention or recognition, but to impact people’s lives in a positive way, and hopefully inspire them by how far I’ve come and how far I intend to go from here. This is what I know: true charisma is not a goal, but a byproduct of bringing your full self to every situation, being confident but humble, brave and optimistic, and never projecting that you’re better than anyone, but rather, that you want them all to join you on a journey of a regret-free life. My book, my lectures and workshops, and now the video course that I’m launching next week are all about bringing as many people along on this exciting path to boldness. And I hope you’ll join me. Boldness Exercise of the Week  Make a short list of people who you find charismatic. Write down how they make you feel, and the impact they’ve had on you. And then write two bold things you’re going to do this week that make you uncomfortable. Then do them! Because your bold actions will impact people in ways you may never know. ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ fred@superboldlife.com ​ ​ Unsubscribe · Preferences ​ ​

Why Boldness Will Be Your Only Durable Skill in an Unpredictable World

I am a fan for a very specific reason!

I’m not much of a sports fan, but I love a good sports analogy. Athletes, especially elite ones, devote extraordinary effort to succeed, and their habits often translate directly into business and personal growth. If you know anything about basketball, you know Stephen Curry. He’s widely regarded as the greatest three-point shooter in history. His long-range accuracy is almost superhuman. There’s even a video of him making ten full-court shots in a row, each one a perfect swish. Not the kind of thing AI fakes. That's talent, yes, but it's not the whole story. There’s a lesser-known part of Curry’s greatness that’s far more relevant to the rest of us: His mastery of the free throw. When a player is fouled, they’re awarded an uncontested shot from the free-throw line. Seems simple. But this “simple” act is often what determines a close game or even a championship. Curry hits 93% of his free throws. The average NBA player hits 78% . Shaquille O’Neal, one of the most dominant players ever, averaged 52% . That gap between 78% and 93% is the difference between good and nearly automatic. And in the NBA, where games are regularly decided by one or two points, that difference is massive. There’s another angle: Coaches will sometimes instruct players to intentionally foul an opposing shooter they think is likely to miss the free throws. They did it to Shaq constantly, to the point where it was termed “Hack the Shaq.” They never ever do it to Steph. Why? Too risky. Because Curry has elevated a fundamental skill to the level of mastery. The Hidden Ingredient: Diligence My friend Alan Stein, a top performance coach, trained with Curry early in his career. One story he shared has stuck with me ever since. At the end of each practice, when everyone else would go into the locker room, Curry would go to the free-throw line and practice his shot. He wouldn't leave the gym until he had made 10 perfect swishes in a row. If the tenth shot touched the rim, he started over. This is diligence. This is a master doing the fundamentals until boredom, resistance, and perfection meet. And this is where the lesson applies directly to your success. Where Most People Fall Short We live in a world designed to keep us entertained and distracted. Our phones are engineered to prevent boredom. Yet success very often requires boredom. Because, let’s face it, practicing the fundamentals is boring. Repetition is boring. But do you know what’s even more boring? Staying average. It’s the same for musicians doing scales. Actors rehearsing lines. Writers drafting endless revisions. The people who excel simply stay with the fundamentals longer than those who don’t. And they accept boredom as part of the process. Whether you’re a salesperson, a dentist, an entrepreneur, or a leader, your “free throws” are the simple, unglamorous actions that compound into mastery. Your free throws might be: Making the calls you don’t want to make Hearing “no” far more often than “yes” Repeating your script until you can deliver it in your sleep Rehearsing presentation over and over And here’s a big one: role-playing. Most of us dread it, but there is often no better way to refine a skill. And the reality is, there are no negative consequences to role-playing, except in your head. We hate not being good at something. So, just start thinking of it like you’re just hitting the rim, and you get to take another shot. Nothing to be ashamed of, just room for improvement. You’re simply getting better before it matters, so you’re game is strong when it does. Why I Tell You This (And Why I Tell Myself This) I don’t enjoy rehearsing my presentations. I don’t enjoy repeating a section over and over until it lands. But I do it because that’s the price of being as impactful as possible on stage. And the reward is being spontaneous, creative, and fully present when I’m in front of an audience. Mastery gives you freedom. Fundamentals give you mastery. If you’re getting average results, there’s a good chance you’ve been avoiding the fundamentals. Maybe it feels easier to stay where you are. But “easier” isn’t better. Not if you want more. THIS WEEK'S BOLDNESS EXERCISE Pick one simple boldness exercise and repeat it today. Examples: Smile at a stranger Compliment someone in line at Starbucks Strike up a 20-second conversation with someone new Practice your pitch out loud five times Role-play a tough conversation with a friend or colleague  If you hesitate, that’s the resistance. The same resistance that keeps you from practicing the fundamentals. Push through it. Do the simple thing. The low-stakes thing. The “boring” thing. Because that’s where your boldness grows. And bold people win when it matters.

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